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Chapter 26: How to Have a Child-Centered Divorce

From the Book: Divorce Amicably
This is a chapter summary from Chapter 6 of  Divorce Amicably, a guide to navigating separation with dignity and cooperation.

Chapter 26 Author: Kathleen Shack

Kathleen Shack, M.S., LMFT, has been in practice for over 21 years. She is an experienced Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Gottman Couples Therapist, Certified Discernment Counselor, Divorce Coach, Co-Parenting counselor, and Mediator. She helps individuals, couples, and families minimize the negative and find lasting solutions that work for their family. Kathleen helps people find inner strength and gives them tools which they can use to navigate their world. Using the Gottman Method, Kathleen guides couples on how to build and maintain healthy relationships. Discernment Counseling helps couples on the brink of divorce to gain clarity and confidence about the direction of their relationship.

 

Chapter 26's Evidence-Based Approach to Protecting Children

Research reveals a sobering truth: children think about their parents' divorce almost every day, carrying increased risks for academic, behavioral, and psychological problems throughout their lives. In this comprehensive chapter, licensed marriage and family therapist Kathleen Shack confronts these harsh realities while providing evidence-based strategies that can dramatically reduce divorce's negative impact. Drawing from decades of research and clinical experience, she reveals that parental conflict—not divorce itself—is the strongest predictor of poor outcomes for children.

Shack provides a detailed roadmap for creating stability amidst upheaval, from the critical first conversation about divorce through establishing new household routines. She addresses the paradox many parents face: while children from high-conflict homes often fare better after divorce than in toxic intact families, the transition itself requires careful management to prevent lasting damage. Through specific scripts, timing strategies, and age-appropriate communication techniques, this chapter transforms overwhelming emotional territory into manageable action steps that prioritize children's psychological safety and long-term wellbeing.

Evidence-Based Strategies from Chapter 26

Who Needs Chapter 26's Child Protection Framework

This chapter is absolutely essential for parents who lie awake worrying about how divorce will affect their children, those already seeing behavioral changes or academic struggles, and anyone trying to shield children from adult conflicts but unsure how. It's crucial reading for parents in high-conflict relationships wondering if staying together "for the kids" is actually more harmful than divorcing.

Perfect for those struggling to answer children's questions about divorce without damaging their relationship with the other parent, parents trying to establish new household routines while maintaining stability, and anyone who needs evidence-based reassurance that children can thrive after divorce when parents handle it correctly. Whether you're contemplating divorce, in the midst of proceedings, or trying to repair damage from a contentious split, Shack's framework provides the tools to minimize trauma and maximize resilience.

Get your copy of "Divorce Amicably" today and learn how to navigate divorce in a way that protects your children's emotional health and future relationships—because while you can't prevent your divorce from affecting your children, you can prevent it from damaging them.

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