From the Book: Divorce Amicably
This is a chapter summary from Chapter 6 of  Divorce Amicably, a guide to navigating separation with dignity and cooperation.
Chapter 29 Author: Ashley Heredia
Ashley has practiced law for fifteen years with thirteen of those dedicated solely to family law. Prior to opening her own law practice, Ashley worked for some of Atlanta's most prestigious family law firms.
As a child of divorced parents, Ashley knows first-hand how difficult divorce can be on children. Ashley is dedicated to achieving amicable resolutions that help parties maintain a civil relationship after the conclusion of their case. Ashley is known for having a good working relationship with her peers and is well respected by other lawyers in the family law community. These qualities greatly benefit Ashley’s clients by promoting settlement and amicable outcomes in her cases.
Chapter 29's Powerful Truth: What Children Really Experience During Divorce
Most divorcing parents desperately wonder what their children are thinking but never get honest answers—children protect parents by hiding their true feelings. In this extraordinary chapter, family law attorney J. Ashley Heredia breaks that silence, sharing her intimate perspective as both a child of divorce and now a professional guiding families through separation. Her story reveals a shocking truth: her parents' divorce wasn't the trauma—it was the relief from years of conflict they thought she couldn't hear.
Heredia pulls no punches describing the nine-year-old's experience of huddled nights under glow-in-the-dark sheets trying to block out screaming matches, finding her mother crying among scattered sewing pins from her father's temper, and the constant anxiety of navigating parental conflict. But this chapter transforms from painful memoir to powerful guidance as she reveals how her parents' child-centered approach to divorce became the turning point that saved her childhood. Through her dual lens as both survivor and attorney, she provides the insider knowledge parents need to understand what children actually experience versus what parents assume they're protecting them from.
Shack exposes the hidden signs of distress that parents often miss or misinterpret—from the infant whose fussiness signals disrupted trust to the high-achieving nine-year-old whose perfect grades mask deep anxiety about keeping parents happy. Through detailed developmental profiles, she demonstrates how divorce intersects with each stage's primary psychological tasks, creating unique vulnerabilities and opportunities for support. Most importantly, this chapter provides specific, actionable parental responses tailored to each age group, ensuring your support matches your child's actual developmental needs rather than your assumptions about what helps.
Revelations from Chapter 29's Child's Perspective
Who Must Read Chapter 29's Child-Centered Truth
This chapter is absolutely essential for parents wondering what their children really think but are too afraid or protective to say, those justifying staying in toxic marriages "for the children," and anyone using past mistakes as weapons in custody battles. It's crucial reading for parents who think they're successfully hiding conflict from their children.
Perfect for those struggling to respect a flawed co-parent while protecting children, parents worried about long-term psychological damage from divorce, and anyone who needs permission to end a harmful marriage despite societal pressure to stay. Whether you're contemplating divorce, in the midst of proceedings, or trying to repair damage from a contentious split, Heredia's lived experience provides the child's perspective you desperately need but can't get from your own children.
Get your copy of "Divorce Amicably" today and discover what children really need from divorcing parents—not what you assume they need—because the child you're trying to protect sees everything you think you're hiding.
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